


A Short, Almost Entirely Dialogue-Only, Future One-Off Based On Ian’s Unscrupulous Inability To Accept Debbie’s Sexuality

by Idealuk



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Future Fic, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Multi, Threesome - F/F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-09
Updated: 2019-09-09
Packaged: 2020-10-13 12:57:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 862
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20582879
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idealuk/pseuds/Idealuk
Summary: The title is the summary.





	A Short, Almost Entirely Dialogue-Only, Future One-Off Based On Ian’s Unscrupulous Inability To Accept Debbie’s Sexuality

**Author's Note:**

> Not BETA'd. Mistakes are mine.

**Mickey:** You _need_ to lay off it with Female Firecrotch.

**Ian:** She’s _not_ a lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, or any thing else other than straight, my gaydar’s second-to-none, this “confused” phase is only going to bring even more drama to this house, and, seeing as we’re both out on parole, I’d like to avoid as much of _that_ shit as we possibly can.

**Mickey:** Bitch, please, you didn’t know that _my_ ass is gay until about 5 seconds before your dick was inside of it ... when you tried to mug me in my shit show of a home for the piece that I stole off of your _first_ old fuck with a beard, 10 years later, it’s _still_ blowin’ your mind how much I’m always down for you, and they (referring to Debbie and the two individuals she’d been flirting with when Ian started to give her grief which resulted in her suggesting that they go play with Franny in the front yard instead of staying indoors) looked pretty drama-free to me, so lighten, and ease, the-hell up, _Gay Jesus_, ... and why is it that _you’re_ the one with that pseudonym when I gotta’ point out to you that you’re talkin’ out of your ass like you’re the only one of us with a little sister dumb fucks would call “confused”? You don’t hear me callin’ Molly ‘Matviyko,’ or calling her a he, just because she has a dick.

**Ian:** A: The fact that they had wives as beards is proof of my gaydar. B: So, now you’re fucking a ‘dumb fuck’?, and I’m surprised that you know Molly even exists ... or what a pseudonym is (earning himself a faked out elbow to his ribs from his boyfriend).**  
**

**Mickey:** (Using the remote from the Gallagher couch, having been sitting there next to Ian since lunchtime, to select a movie from Netflix on the Gallagher television) I’m in love with a ‘dumb fuck,’ and he better love me back, and shut the-fuck up and watch this movie with me if he wants boning privileges tonight.

**Ian:** As if you could _ever_ resist me _or_ my cock, ... and you know that I’ve loved you from the start, Mick. ... 15 and that shit’s not goin’ away.

(... 7 minutes later, Debbie comes back in, volleying between playing tonsil hockey with a long-haired blond guy (Duran) and playing tonsil hockey with a yet-to-be-namely-introduced peach-and-purple-dyed-haired curvaceous girl of Pacific Island descent, as Franny toddles in behind them and makes a B-line for the kitchen to stay out of their way, and Avan Jogia appears on the screen.)

**Liam:** Hey, Ian ... (still seemingly mesmerized by Avan, and his adorkable mock salute, and gaining both his brother’s, and Mickey’s, attention from the side chair), I’m also not straight. ... _Necessarily_ (Jogia’s first appearance was quickly followed by a shot of ‘Big & Booty’ magazine covers). Deal with it.

**Mickey:** Ha! Looks like you don’t have sole reign as the homo messiah, any more, Gallagher, even in your own casa, and, with Lip and Tami as their parents, (tilts his head in the direction of the kitchen where Franny is trying to convince Jabby and Pukey that she can help them feed her baby cousin) you know that, at least, _that_ kid’s going to turn out to be one of us if not also Mini Deb, too, so you might need a new token.

******Liam:** ****It doesn’t w-- ... Never mind.****  
****

****Ian:** **No matter what, you’ll always be the gayest thing about this family, don’t worry your proud power-bottom self, king of my heart, your status is secure.

(Liam screws up his face while raising an eyebrow at Ian’s lingering ignorance)

**Mickey:** Fuck you, then marry me already, ... _prince_ (mimicking his lover’s taunting vibrato).

**Ian:** Okay.

(Mickey pauses the movie and shares a stare with Ian that properly contradicts how Ian has just responded as though he’d been asked if he wanted some discounted food from his favourite take-out joint.)

**Liam:** (Rolling his eyes) Can we go back to watching ‘Shaft’ now? It just started!

**Mickey:** (Tossing the remote to Liam) You watch ‘Shaft’. I’m going to go use your brother’s shaft to help your sister fill the house with sounds of queer bangin’ (yanking the toned-muscled ginger up off of the couch so forcefully that he has a slight tinge of fear that he’s hurt him until it immediately goes away when he sees the mega-watt smile on Ian’s face beaming down upon him).

**Ian:** (From the middle of the front stairwell) ... ‘The Married One’.

**Mickey:** (Looking back at him from where he stood above him) Hmm (having barely heard him over Liam turning the movie back on and the volume up)?

**Ian:** My new token as a Gallagher. ‘The Married One’.

**Mickey:** (Commencing his race to their bedroom, passed the room with the noises that the threesome was making, and unable to tamper his own joy and neediness) Fuck if that’s not the one that sticks (stripping Ian of his shirt once they’re inside before claiming hands cling with undue desperation and skilled mouths begin to devour each other in a familiar occurrence that would only be multiplied in the years to come).

**Author's Note:**

> These boys dragged me back in so deep that I'm even writing again. Matviyko is a Ukrainian boys name, it's variant of Matthew, and means 'gift from God'. It's my headcanon that it's Molly's birth/dead name. Please give love if you have it.


End file.
